Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
