I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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