Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
