My nipple is on Facebook.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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