You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
