I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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