in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Terrible idea I love it
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize