i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
