i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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