Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
