I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
