It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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