You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
