So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize