morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
