and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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