Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize