I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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