i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
