Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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