You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
