She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
