im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
