my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Randomize
