Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
