Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
