Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
