SEEEEXXX PLEASE
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
