Whod you bang
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
