forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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