Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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