I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize