and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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