Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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