Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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