So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
