one word: firstdatebathroomanal
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So squirting runs in the family.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
