If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
