nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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