I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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