made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I need a beard to bite.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize