Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
