Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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