I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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