And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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