Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
