This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize