didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
