you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
