I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
