I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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