I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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