You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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