I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm like, not good at living.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
