Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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