I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
