I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Success! We fucked roommates!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize