I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
