You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
